Say it ain't so!

Headline from the Weekend FT

"Banks make customers pay for lost profit"

Well, we saw that one coming! Banks have grown used to their super-sized profits and more importantly the executives have grown used to the super-sized bonuses, so they were never going to let their shocking investment decisions get in the way of their shockingly fat pay cheques.

We are hearing some interesting stuff on the street at present. Banks have started to mimic one of the other truly horrifically managed industries, the airlines. The airlines, almost without exception, have a customer service manifesto that reads like the Mafia code of Omerta. In almost all circumstances airline staff are coached to give away only the barest minimum of information. Nada. Name, rank, serial number. These people are taught to remain useless in the face of torrents of abuse from hard done by passengers.

Their constant repetition of the word sorry renders it useless (in fact, said enough times it starts to sound like "screw you")

Now it is becoming clear that on the street Banks (in spite of the deluge of credit crunch stories in the media) have adopted a standard message to clients of "with us, it is business as usual". The front line managers have been coached to admit nothing. The other guy might be squeezed, but we (the next bit is code for "they messed up but we didn't")have a solid capital base and continue to look for lending opportunities.

Only, it isn't quite like that. We are now hearing of many occasions where seemingly routine lending is getting all the way to the offer stage and then mysteriously falling over. "Nothing to do with the credit situation" borrowers are told....hmmm.

It's suspiciously like the airlines. You sit for five hours in a smelly, congested airport being told next to nothing and then all of a sudden they cancel the flight. Couldn't they have told you that five hours ago? You might have checked in to a hotel, enjoyed a refreshing shower, a cold beer at the bar and be settling into an excellent dinner. But no. You find yourself shouting at a bored looking Air Crud staff member (they always have that passive aggressive face on) who says "Sorry" every time you pause for breath.

And with the Banks. Leading you down the path thinking that you will be getting the loan, telling you that it is business as usual, only to be denied at the last moment. No hint on the way. No heads up or early warning that this isn't going to plan.

The trouble is that with a cancelled flight you might miss your dinner. With a cancelled loan you might lose your business.